i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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