whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
