Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
