apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
