Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
should my penis look like a turkey
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
