I should be sponsored by Trojan
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
