The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
