I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
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