that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
