No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
