I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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