the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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