How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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