PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
