guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
