is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
