Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Two words: blizzard sex
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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