No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
