i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Nicole vs. Life
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
