Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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