We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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