i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
