you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Randomize
