Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
