you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize