we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
