u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
