i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
