Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize