and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
two words...techno handjob
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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