Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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