why im i the only drunk person in the library?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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