I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
