well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
