Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
