Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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