Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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