this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
