i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
vagina is talking i cant
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Randomize
