hell yes lets make some ravioli
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
