And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Your cock deserves a montage
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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