If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize