He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
