No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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