and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize