Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
