So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
