its not stalking. its research.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
