Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
