But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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