Are we in a gay sports bar?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
