At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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